All Your Most Personal Pap Smear and Pelvic Examination Questions, Answered

This has been a record-breaking year for women.  Women all over the world are making huge gains in leadership, business, political activism and more.

This is the year that the film Wonder Woman, directed by Patty Jenkins, a female director, broke records.  Indeed, women are breaking glass ceilings every day.  Female empowerment is vital and important for all of us as women ⏤ as sisters, mothers,  spouses,  partners, and friends.  Empowerment of self in the business and professional world begins with the empowerment of Mind, Body, and Spirit.

This means understanding our health physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Let’s begin with our physical health.  Are you going to the doctor annually? Are you making sure to check in with your physician? Are you taking the steps to make sure you’re healthy inside and out?

One dreaded, but extremely important examination is the Pap Smear and Pelvic Examination.  This is an examination of the cervix for cancer cells as well as a manual examination of the vagina, cervix, and ovaries for any abnormalities including but not limited to ovarian tumors, and cysts. Early detection is key to improved outcomes.  The pap smear examination may also include a screening for High-risk HPV (Human Papilloma Virus).

Have questions? Lucky for you, I like to answer them. Ahead, I share my answers to all your pap questions.

WHEN? WHO DECIDES?


According to the United States Preventative Services Test Force (USPSTF), American Cancer Society (ACS) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), Women under the age of 21 are not recommended to get pap tests.

Pap testing is recommended to begin at age 21, and for women aged 21-29. This test is recommended to be done every 3 years.  For women ages 30-65, the recommendation is co testing of Pap and HPV every 5 years.  Women in this age group may also consider Pap test alone every 3 years. Women over the age of 65 are recommended to discontinue Pap and HPV testing if a history of Pap tests and screening have been negative. (Varies with history of previous Cervical Cancer).  The High-risk HPV exam is done ordered when there is an issue with the pap test results.

WHAT ARE SOME QUESTIONS I MAY BE ASKED?


Last menstrual period:  You’ll likely be asked when your last menstrual period (also known as LMP) was. It is important for your provider to know this info for many reasons, including giving insight into possible pregnancy status.  In addition, it gives the provider information about the frequency of your periods.  Be prepared to share if you are having heavy periods or periods that are very painful.  Make notes if you’re having to bleed between periods. This is important information to share.

The Number of Sexual Partners:  This allows your provider to understand and evaluate possible risks associated with Sexually Transmitted Infections, including HIV risk and exposure. Providers will ask about sexual relationships with men, women, or both. This is an opportunity to advocate for yourself and receive vital information about maintaining your sexual health.  Ditch any sense of shame or hesitation and be completely candid with your provider.

Type of Birth Control Method Used:  Again, the provider will be able to evaluate if you’re happy with your current method, and also make sure that the method used is providing adequate protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections including HIV. It is wise to prepare questions regarding satisfaction with the current method.  Are you wondering about another method?  Preparing a list of questions regarding your concerns is a wonderful way to aid your provider in giving you the guidance you need to empower this very important decision.

WHAT EXACTLY WILL BE DONE?

During a Pap Test, you will be in an examination room and asked to wear paper garments during the examination. The medical provider, physician, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant, will enter the room often with an assistant.  The provider will use a medical device called a speculum which is inserted into the vagina.  The speculum may be plastic or metal. This varies depending on the clinic.  The purpose of this device is to create a visual opening for the provider to examine the cervix and vaginal walls.  The provider will look to make sure everything appears healthy. Next, the provider will insert a small brush or spatula into the opening to evaluate the cells on the cervix.  These cells are gently brushed or scraped from the cervix and placed in a specimen container.  These cells are sent to a lab for evaluation of cellular health and to rule out abnormalities of varying degrees.

Once the speculum is removed, the provider will place two gloved fingers inside the vagina and evaluate for pain.This is the bimanual Pelvic Exam.  The provider will examine if your cervix is painful to motion, an indication of a possibly dangerous infection.  The provider will also evaluate the ovaries at this time. The ovaries are palpated to evaluate size, shape, and tenderness.  After this portion of the examination is completed, you will be asked to get dressed as the provider and the assistant leaves the room.  Now you get to celebrate!  Celebrate?  Yes!!  Give yourself some well-deserved acknowledgment for advocating for your own health and seeing a medical provider.  Preventative healthcare is an important tool of empowerment. Staying informed about your body and health will help you continue catapulting through those glass ceilings.

Dr. Tina Ashrafzadeh D.O. completed a 3-year residency program in Osteopathic Family Medicine at Pacific Hospital Of Long Beach. She is Board Certified in Family Practice and OMT(Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment). Dr. Ashrafzadeh is a credentialed Clinical Faculty Member at Western University/COMP and enjoys teaching medical students as well as Residents. Her private practice focuses on Holistic Healing and focuses on Women’s Health and Pediatrics.  Her hobbies include cooking, spending time outdoors with her husband and three children, traveling, and writing.

DISCLAIMER: This information is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. This information is intended to provide general information only and does not intend to offer medical advice, diagnose health problems or make decisions regarding treatment of medical issues. Dr. Tina Ashrafzadeh makes no representation and assumes no responsibility for the accuracy of the information contained within this article and such information is subject to change without notice.You are encouraged to confirm any information obtained from this article with other sources and review all information regarding medical conditions and treatment with your physician. The reader will maintain all relationships and make all decisions regarding healthcare, with a licensed physician and or qualified health care provider.

Next up, this app will actually make you look forward to your workouts.

This is How Successful Couples Manage and Discuss Money

Talking money with our partners is hardly sexy.  We get that.  We also know that money matters are important and shouldn’t be avoided, despite their potential discomfort.  Financially empowered women have to find ways to discuss money matters with confidence.  No questions asked.

Do you want to know why?  For starters, life happens and in a realistic world, not all relationships end in happily ever after bliss.  According to financial feminist  Sallie Krawcheck the CEO and Co-Founder of Ellevest, a recently launched innovative digital investment platform for women, “a woman’s household income falls 41% after divorce and 37% after a spouse dies.”  Read: Be prepared for all possibilities — and this starts by being an active participant in the financial concerns of your partnership.

Open and honest communication between you and your hubby affects the entire framework of your love affair.  Krawcheck agrees with us, saying that getting together with your partner for a regular deep dive into your financial picture can give you more peace of mind, at the very least.” If you are looking at this with blank stares or even slight hesitation,   we at Style Salute are here to lay out the code for all to see.

Ahead, 5 things to remember when discussing money with your partner.

1.  BRING ALL FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS TO THE TABLE

Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner
Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner 17
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First and foremost, be sure to grab hold of all of your financial documents, including your recent savings and checking accounts, investment accounts, and even any outstanding debt you may have accrued.  Same goes for your partner.  Without all of the paperwork, formulating a budget or monetary game plan will turn into a messy affair.  Once the two of you have everything laid out and ready to analyze, future financial decisions can be made with more strategically.

Fornasetti - Losanghe Scented Candle, 300g - Gold
Fornasetti Fornasetti – Losanghe Scented Candle, 300g – Gold 215
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2.  SO, WHERE DID THE MONEY GO?

Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money
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Figure out the trajectory of your mutual and independent wealth.  In short, this means to calculate the flow of your money by assessing how much is being earned, saved, invested, and spent.  Remaining calm and collected, leave judgement at the door even if something seems amiss. Instead, work alongside your partner to make financial changes that serve the both of you and keep you financially healthy.

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results
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Fornasetti 'Silenzio - Otto' Lidded Candle
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3.  SET GOALS AND MAKE THEM A REALITY

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Jumpstart Your Marriage & Your Money: A 4-Week Guide to Building Wealth Together 11.99
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Goals are imperative in terms of your financial success because they motivate you to aim beyond your current status. Together and independent of your partner, establish monetary goals that you can both work towards and eventually attain. Examples include retirement planning, debt freedom, and investing when you are in the position to take that leap. Here’s a quick side note: Statistically speaking, women outlive men by roughly five years and tend to earn less money than their male counterparts.  As a result, we women need to watch out for ourselves and consider investing more of our income.  Investing in a diversified investment portfolio is a fantastic place to start, according to Krawcheck.But, how? Sign up for a free financial plan with Ellevest today. It only takes 5-10 minutes.

4.  DON’T FORGET ABOUT RETIREMENT

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Soaking in and savoring the present moment is important, but the future shouldn’t be neglected in the process.  This is where retirement planning comes in.  Come together with your loved one and talk freely about your ideal retirement lifestyle. Would you care to travel the world for half the year or perhaps purchase a beautiful condo on the Caribbean? The sky is the limit, with different couples finding happiness in varying styles of life. Once the visualization aspect has been accounted for,  the two of you can then form a corresponding number amount that will allow for a comfortable, joy-filled retirement.

Smythson 'Make It Happen' Panama Notebook
Smythson Smythson ‘Make It Happen’ Panama Notebook 80
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5.  INVESTING IS A TWO-WAY STREET

What Every Couple Should Know about Money & Relationships
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Investing is fabulous and we highly recommend introducing it into your financial picture if you haven’t already.  You are ahead of the game by having an investment portfolio in place.  Still, when you have shared accounts, keep in mind that you shouldn’t relay all responsibility to your partner.  It is crucial that you understand the underlying layers of your joint assets, rather than leaving your other half to be in charge.  By doing so, you are relying on your partner to take care of business,  even though it is vital that you step up and assure that you are both on the same front risk wise.

Not sure where to begin? Check out “The Go-Getter’s Guide to Investing.”  Written by Sallie Krawcheck, the guide breaks down everything you need to know about investing in a free, easy-to-read instructional guide.  Happy reading (and investing)!

Going on a Trip? It’s Time to Update Your Pajama Game

Comfortable dressing is one of our favorite topics to cover here at Style Salute.  So, what better way to cover it than a setting that all of us love — the girls getaway trip?

When it comes to weekend trips, sleepwear is more than just clothes you wear to sleep.  You’re going to be wearing your pajamas in the room even when you’re not sleeping, and you don’t want to look dowdy or sloppy with your friends. You want to have your sleepwear serve as a stylish and comfortable solution for in-hotel loungewear.  Well, thanks to the growing leisure trend, our favorite brands now offer some incredibly stylish sleepwear.

To narrow down your hunt for the coolest jammies to wear on your next getaway, we asked our editors to share their favorites!

Scroll through to shop our favorite pajamas. 

3 (Very Stylish) Sunglasses Shape For Oval Faces

The first thing a person looks at when meeting you is your face.  That said, in sunny summer months, you want to make sure your sunglasses frame your face in the most flattering way.  Sounds obvious, yet people often get caught in trends and wear sunglasses that are “cool” but not necessarily flattering on their face.

To select the best frame for you face, you first want to determine, what shape of face you have. It doesn’t matter what the trend may be at the time, picking a pair of sunglasses that fit well and flatter your face is key to great style.  An oval face shape is longer than it is wide, with balanced features, a narrow forehead, high cheekbones, and a narrowing towards the jaw.  So, when it comes to selecting a flattering frame for an oval face, round, oversize frames work best.

If this is you, then read below to find frames that accentuate your best facial features.

A Geometric Shape

Women's Quay Australia Muse Fade 62Mm Aviator Sunglasses - Black/ Brown Fade Lens
Quay Women’s Quay Australia Muse Fade 62Mm Aviator Sunglasses – Black/ Brown Fade Lens 60
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When choosing a frame for an oval face, you want to stick with square and rectangle shapes.  The reason for this is you want to create the illusion of angles around your higher cheekbones to deflect the attention around your smaller forehead and chin.  You want to avoid a frame that is extremely round, as this will pull the focus to your widest area on the face, the cheeks.  The goal with an angular frame is to create symmetry and not have one area be more in focused than the other on your face.

Gucci 61mm Aviator Sunglasses
Gucci Gucci 61mm Aviator Sunglasses 420
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Bold Color and Texture

Quay Australia x JLO The Playa 54mm Aviator Sunglasses
Quay Quay Australia x JLO The Playa 54mm Aviator Sunglasses 60
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A pair of sunglasses with lively colors and texture creates depth and contour for those who have an oval face.  I recommend bright, bold colors to my patients who have oval faces to deflect the asymmetry in their face and have the focus more on the central part of their face, their eyes.

Sonix Lodi 61mm Mirrored Aviator Sunglasses
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Women's Bp. 60Mm Mirror Lens Round Sunglasses - Multi
BP Women’s Bp. 60Mm Mirror Lens Round Sunglasses – Multi 14
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Ted Baker London 60mm Aviator Sunglasses
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A Balanced Size

Dior Siderall 1 53mm Round Sunglasses
Christian Dior Dior Siderall 1 53mm Round Sunglasses 450
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When you have an oval shaped face you want to choose glasses that are as wide or slightly wider than the broadest part of the face, your cheeks. A little tip for finding a frame that is balanced in size is to avoid frames that cover up more than half of your face.  If you’re having a hard time finding the right pair, check out the frames I have suggested below to help guide you.

zeroUV New Polarized Anti Glare Lens Large Cover Wrap Sunglasses with Side Lens (Shiny Black)
zeroUV New Polarized Anti Glare Lens Large Cover Wrap Sunglasses with Side Lens (Shiny Black)($14.99)
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12 Tricky Wedding Etiquette Questions, Answered

If you’re a bride-to-be, then you don’t need us to tell you that there are some serious wedding etiquette questions that require very gentle handling. Who gets a plus one? Do you have to ask your sister-in-law to be to be the MOH? Can you invite guests to the bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding?

You want your wedding, and everything leading up to it to be near perfection.  And we know that you want your guests to remember your special day in a beautiful way.  To ensure your wedding day goes exactly the way you want it to, we rounded up 12 of the most common questions from brides to bring the most tactful solutions to your big wedding etiquette dilemmas.

Keep reading for the answers to your burning wedding questions. Plus check out our collection of wedding gowns for your pre-wedding festivities.

Can I Have Someone Besides My Father Walk Me Down The Aisle?

Meriden Dress
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Traditionally speaking, fathers walk their daughters down the aisle. But, that doesn’t always need to be the case.  Personally, my father passed away years ago so I will need to have another loved one walk me down the aisle. The choice is really yours–but be sure to choose an individual who is significant to you.

TPU Clear Case for iPhone 7 Plus or iPhone 7s Plus - Bride Wedding Bridal Clear Case
TPU Clear Case for iPhone 7 Plus or iPhone 7s Plus – Bride Wedding Bridal Clear Case TPU Clear Case for iPhone 7 Plus or iPhone 7s Plus – Bride Wedding Bridal Clear Case
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Who Lifts My Veil?

Bernice Headband
BHLDN Bernice Headband 60
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Veil styles these days are vary from short to long.  Assuming you have gone the classic route, you have two choices:  your veil can either be lifted by your father (or father-figure) when he is uncovering you to the groom or by the groom himself before he goes in for the smooch.

Clear Bride Party Spa Slippers Hen Party Wedding Diamante Rhinestone Crystal Hotel Honeymoon Slippers
Clear Bride Party Spa Slippers Hen Party Wedding Diamante Rhinestone Crystal Hotel Honeymoon Slippers Clear Bride Party Spa Slippers Hen Party Wedding Diamante Rhinestone Crystal Hotel Honeymoon Slippers 15.99
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Is There A Respectable Way To Kiss The Groom During The Ceremony? 

Anthropologie Cece Wedding Guest Dress
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We can’t tell you how to kiss your hubby, although the rule of thumb is to mix passion and moderation into a kiss that lasts no more than roughly ten seconds.  Be sure to leave out tongue because–well, the answer is obvious. The key is to let the kiss flow naturally so that it doesn’t appear too staged while being aware that all eyes are centered on you and the groom.

YDTQXG Women's White Lace Wedding Garters 2-Piece Set Bridal Garter Prom Gift-Ivory
YDTQXG Women’s White Lace Wedding Garters 2-Piece Set Bridal Garter Prom Gift-Ivory($6.99)
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Who Hosts The Bridal Shower? Do My Shower Guests Need To Be On The Wedding Guest List?

Topeka Dress
BHLDN Topeka Dress 498
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The bridal shower can be hosted by your bridesmaids, mother, or even the mother of the groom.  There aren’t many rigid, unbreakable rules in wedding etiquette, although it is common sense to invite the guests of your bridal shower to the wedding.  The only exception is if you have a small, intimate destination wedding that doesn’t include your entire social circle and that needs to be disclosed thoroughly so that hurt feelings can be avoided.

Wedding Day Foiled Card Set, To My Bride, To My Groom, Gold Foiled Vow Cards (WD182-183)
Wedding Day Foiled Card Set, To My Bride, To My Groom, Gold Foiled Vow Cards (WD182-183) Wedding Day Foiled Card Set, To My Bride, To My Groom, Gold Foiled Vow Cards (WD182-183) 11.99
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Who Am I Supposed To Invite To The Rehearsal Dinner? 

Winchester Dress
BHLDN Winchester Dress 375
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Like many of the other matters, the answer to this question is dependent on your own preferences.   Essentially, the answer to this question has a lot to do with your budget and just how far you can stretch it for this pre-wedding event.  If you really can’t imagine closing off your rehearsal dinner festivities from all of your wedding guests,  you have the option of being creative and hosting an after-party at a fun bar post rehearsal dinner.  This way, you can have everyone take part in the celebration without emptying your pockets via an overly extravagant rehearsal dinner.

GroomBrideGifts Bride and Groom Sunglasses | Square Cat Eye Polarized Sunglasses for Women | Engagement Wedding Gifts | Honeymoon Essentials
GroomBrideGifts Bride and Groom Sunglasses | Square Cat Eye Polarized Sunglasses for Women | Engagement Wedding Gifts | Honeymoon Essentials($24.99)
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How Can I Address Guests Who Request Bringing Along People Who Aren’t Invited?

Adeline Dress
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This can make for a sticky situation when not taken care of diligently and ever-so carefully.  Whether you like it or not, a potentially uncomfortable conversation may ensue between yourself and the guest in question.  It is smart to mention viable reasons for why you cannot accommodate additional guests (venue capacity or budget constraints).  Whatever you do, don’t be lenient on this matter because that may result in an increasing number of guests requesting to bring their own posse.

Hortense B. Hewitt Wedding Accessories Mr. and Mrs. Can Coolers Gift Set
Hortense B. Hewitt Wedding Accessories Mr. and Mrs. Can Coolers Gift Set Hortense B. Hewitt Wedding Accessories Mr. and Mrs. Can Coolers Gift Set 8.99
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Who Gets A Plus-One?

Medallion Gown
BHLDN Medallion Gown 780
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Start by taking a look at your overall guest list and its composition.  If you notice that it is composed of primarily married couples, then it is a fair idea to allow your single guests a plus-one so that they have the comfort of having a date.  However, if your guest list is jam-packed with single fever, then there may be no need for plus-ones at all, as there will be plenty of potential mingling among the single folks. Who knows what love stories may come of this?

Mariell Brushed Silver Handmade Austrian Crystal & White Pearl Wedding Comb - Luxe Bridal Hair Accessory
Mariell Brushed Silver Handmade Austrian Crystal & White Pearl Wedding Comb – Luxe Bridal Hair Accessory Mariell Brushed Silver Handmade Austrian Crystal & White Pearl Wedding Comb – Luxe Bridal Hair Accessory 29.99
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Is There A Right Way To Terminate/Fire A Member Of The Wedding Party?

Prospere Gown
BHLDN Prospere Gown 2900
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Drama is written all over this.  Fortunately, there may be a way to avoid mayhem when firing someone from your wedding party cast.  The last resort is termination and should only occur when you are fed up with the individual in question and are willing to say goodbye to the relationship for good.  Chances are, there is no going back when and if you choose to say sayonara to a groomsman, bridesmaid, or the like.  We prefer the pacifist approach,  vying for conflict resolution so that peace and love can return to the relationship and ultimately prevent termination.

Women's Bride Bridesmaid Robes Short Kimono Robe Dressing Gown for Wedding, White, S
Women’s Bride Bridesmaid Robes Short Kimono Robe Dressing Gown for Wedding, White, S Women’s Bride Bridesmaid Robes Short Kimono Robe Dressing Gown for Wedding, White, S 15.99
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Do I Have To Invite All Of The Reception Guests To The Ceremony?

Floret Burnout Velvet Dress
BHLDN Floret Burnout Velvet Dress 460
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The short answer is no. You can refine your ceremony guest list to include a more intimate crowd that doesn’t encompass everyone that is invited to the reception. It’s your call regarding how many people you want to have in your ceremony and how important it is for you to keep the affair private and cozy . If you have a tendency to feel guilty over leaving anyone out, remember that your wedding is all about what is best for you, the groom, your family and guests.   Your guests that are only invited to the reception will understand where you are coming from once you kindly inform them that you intend to keep the ceremony very tight-knit and therefore limited.

vimans Womens Navy Blue Garter Set for Wedding Garters for Bride Plus Size
vimans Womens Navy Blue Garter Set for Wedding Garters for Bride Plus Size vimans Womens Navy Blue Garter Set for Wedding Garters for Bride Plus Size 39.99
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What Is The Most Polite Way To Request Cash Gifts?

Bella Crystal Heels
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Is asking for cash a wedding faux-pas? The short answer is no. The long answer is a bit more complicated. Sometimes if the bride and groom are unsure about where they will be post-wedding, it may be make more sense if this request is made.

A really great way to do this is by simply signing up for a cash registry like Newlywish, which will give guests a chance to contribute funds towards an investment of their choice (and we thing better than requesting “no box gifts”.  Think upcoming down payment, car purchase, or honeymoon travel.  With that being said, we recommend having a traditional gift registry in place as well for those guests who would rather gift you material items.  Non-traditional wedding registries are really making their way into the mainstream so there is no reason to forgo them and stick to traditional norms.

Something Blue
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What Is The Protocol Regarding Thank-You Notes?

Twigs & Honey Floral Garden Headpiece
Twigs & Honey Floral Garden Headpiece 395
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Traditionally speaking, we recommend sending out thank-you notes to your guests as soon as possible.  This way, your guests aren’t left wondering whether you received their gifts and will ensure your appreciation.  Anywhere from a week to no more than a month is the ideal time frame to go by.

Hortense B. Hewitt Gatefold Guest Book, 10.25 x 7.75-Inches, Silver
Hortense B. Hewitt Gatefold Guest Book, 10.25 x 7.75-Inches, Silver Hortense B. Hewitt Gatefold Guest Book, 10.25 x 7.75-Inches, Silver 20.9
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AKOAK 20 Pcs/Lot Women Wedding Bridal Clear Crystal Rhinestone Rose Flower Hair Pin Clips Hair Accessories Jewelry Barrettes Headwear(Light Blue)
AKOAK 20 Pcs/Lot Women Wedding Bridal Clear Crystal Rhinestone Rose Flower Hair Pin Clips Hair Accessories Jewelry Barrettes Headwear(Light Blue)($7.8)
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How Do We Let Our Guests Know We Are Having An Adults-Only Wedding?

Anthropologie Kimya Wedding Guest Dress
Anthropologie Anthropologie Kimya Wedding Guest Dress 649
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Kids are adorable, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your guest list.  Don’t have shame brides. You can be kind about letting your guests know that you are having an adults-only wedding.  The best way to do this is sending out invitations with the specific names of each guest rather than leaving it up to the family to decide who can fulfill the “guest” positions.

What wedding etiquette questions did we forget to address?  Share them with us below and we will be sure to answer them next.

Looking for a wedding photographer?   Check out the wedding photographe every New York bride wants to work with.

10 Pieces You’ll Need to Get the Ballet-Inspired Look

Being a ballerina of 17 years, I have always been enamored with the grace and beauty of ballet style. And while my schedule doesn’t always allow me to dance as much as I want to, I love that today’s  fashion makes it possible for all of us to dress like a ballerina.

These days we can practically look like a ballerina without ever actually having taken a day of classes. And while we may not be dancing in the New York City Ballet with our femme looks, we’ll be of the mindset that we are (which let’s be honest⏤it’s basically the same thing).

From full-on ballerina outfits to pretty pastel pink leotard, and ballet slippers, scroll through to shop the pieces I’m currently obsessing over.

A LEOTARD

Ballet Beautiful - Open-back Stretch-jersey Leotard - Pastel pink
Ballet Beautiful – Open-back Stretch-jersey Leotard – Pastel pink 60
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Ballet Beautiful - Tulle-paneled Stretch-jersey Leotard - Gray
Ballet Beautiful – Tulle-paneled Stretch-jersey Leotard – Gray 80
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Ballet Beautiful - Stretch-jersey Leotard - Navy
Ballet Beautiful – Stretch-jersey Leotard – Navy 80
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Ballet Beautiful - Open-back Stretch-jersey Leotard - Burgundy
Ballet Beautiful – Open-back Stretch-jersey Leotard – Burgundy 60
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A TULLE SKIRT

Women's Catherine Catherine Malandrino Francis Pleat Tulle Skirt
Catherine Malandrino Women’s Catherine Catherine Malandrino Francis Pleat Tulle Skirt 118
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Honey Qiao Women’s Maxi High Waist Skirts Blush Tulle Holiday Formal Skirt
Honey Qiao Women’s Maxi High Waist Skirts Blush Tulle Holiday Formal Skirt Honey Qiao Women’s Maxi High Waist Skirts Blush Tulle Holiday Formal Skirt
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ASOS PREMIUM Lace Tulle Mini Prom Dress
Asos ASOS PREMIUM Lace Tulle Mini Prom Dress 76
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LEGGINGS

Women's Zella Turning Point High Waist Crop Leggings
Zella Women’s Zella Turning Point High Waist Crop Leggings 65
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Women's Alo Show Off Stirrup Leggings
Alo Women’s Alo Show Off Stirrup Leggings 98
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Lysse High Rise Wrap Ankle Leggings
Lysse Lysse High Rise Wrap Ankle Leggings 88
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A SCARF

Women's Kate Spade New York Dappled Cotton & Silk Scarf
Kate Spade Women’s Kate Spade New York Dappled Cotton & Silk Scarf 78
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NEOSAN Womens Thick Ribbed Knit Winter Infinity Circle Loop Scarf Twist Khaki
NEOSAN Womens Thick Ribbed Knit Winter Infinity Circle Loop Scarf Twist Khaki NEOSAN Womens Thick Ribbed Knit Winter Infinity Circle Loop Scarf Twist Khaki 49.9
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Tapp C. Multicolor Floral Print Infinity Scarf - Cream
Tapp C. Multicolor Floral Print Infinity Scarf – Cream Tapp C. Multicolor Floral Print Infinity Scarf – Cream 9.99
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TIGHTS

Leg Avenue Women's Hosiery Lace Thigh Highs, Black Rose, One Size
Leg Avenue Women’s Hosiery Lace Thigh Highs, Black Rose, One Size($12.5)
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Jiuguva 2 Pieces Hollow out Knitted Patterned Stockings Tights Opaque Vertical Strips Pantyhose Cable Knit White Lace Tights Women White Fishnet Stockings, One Size
Jiuguva 2 Pieces Hollow out Knitted Patterned Stockings Tights Opaque Vertical Strips Pantyhose Cable Knit White Lace Tights Women White Fishnet Stockings, One Size($15.99)
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Gipsy young heart tights
Gipsy Gipsy young heart tights 12
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BALLET FLATS

BAGATT Booties
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7 Communication Secrets All Successful Couples Swear By

“All’s fair in love and war.” Right? We’ve all heard the  famous Miguel de Cervantes comparison from Don Quixote quote,  but when it comes to dating and communication, does this always apply?

As much as we may all try to win arguments we have with our partner, the  trait of being a fair communicator is key to making a relationship successful.  Let’s be honest: we all have disagreements swith our partners, and what we should realize is that this isn’t necessarily the sign of a bad relationship; it’s actually quite the contrary. We all come from different backgrounds, raised in different families, and often hold conflicting values. These inherent differences are  going to have us carry distinct and unique viewpoints and values in our lives and life choices—and they may or may not be the same values your S.O. holds.

This brings us to our topic at hand: 7 things successful people do when arguing with a significant other.  In working with couples as long as I have, I’ve realized that successful couples know how to fight fairly.  As such, I’ve rounded up some tips for you to keep in mind— so that next time you’re in in a disagreement with your partner, you can hopefully reach a resolution (and not resentment).

Ahead, read up on 7 things successful couples do when in an argument. Plus, shop everything you’ll need for the perfect date night at home.

 

1. LISTEN

Really listen, not stay silent while trying to come up with what you are going to say next. Pay attention to what our partner is saying so you can get a better understanding of their viewpoint and try. This way you can respond thoughtfully to what your partner just said. This will show that their opinion does matter to you

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2. BE PRESENT

Be present—both physically and emotionally. To avoid miscommunication, always try to discuss things in person as opposed to via text or phone.  This way you can also pay attention to your partners’ nonverbal cues like their body language.

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3. AVOID SARCASM

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship and when you use name calling and sarcasm, you’re are dismissing and disrespecting your partner.

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4. USE  “I” STATEMENTS

The key to keeping cool in discussions is to lead non-defensive communication, and the best way to do this is by using statements that start with “I.” For example, “I feel this” and “I understand that.” This way your partner doesn’t feel like they are being attacked and gets and understanding of how they are directing affecting you

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5. DON’T INTERRUPT

This goes along with listening, but it’s so important it dresses it’s own place on the list. It is important to let your partner finish their thought so that they feel understood and heard. Once they have fully expressed their point, come in and discuss what is on your mind.

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6. DON’T GET EMOTIONAL

Nothing positive will come from starting a discussion when you don’t feel stable enough to make your point effectively as well as be open to hear what your partner has to say. Instead, take time and even journal your thoughts until you are ready to communicate in a more productive way.

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7. KEEP AN OPEN MIND

When you’re in the thick of a relationship, it can be tough to keep an open mind.   After all, we’ve all grown up with certain belief systems, but you should always be willing to keep an open mind. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for two weeks or two years, keeping an open mind will you have a longer, healthier, and happier relationship.

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What communication traits do you look for in a partner? Share them with us below!

Welcome to our Dear Mariam column, where each month  Dr. Mariam Esfahani, Marriage & Family Therapist and founder of Beach Cities Counseling and Therapeutic Services, will help navigate tricky relationship dilemmas.  Come back each month for relationships secrets, dating advice, and secrets to making love and dating less crazy and more fun. 

Doing The One Thing Will Get You In Shape, According to MIT Scientist

We’ve all been there: stuck with the difficult decision of cozying up on our couches or dragging ourselves to the gym.  For the best of us, the hardest part of working out is resisting the urge to hitting the snooze button—So how do you get out of this rut: “I’ll workout tomorrow mentality.”? According to scientists at the MIT Sloan School of Management, the secret to motivating yourself to workout is as easy as sharing your fitness results with friends.

You read that right.  The study analyzed the geographic locations, daily exercise patterns, and social media networks of more than 1 million people over the course of five years, and found that exercise truly is socially contagious. Whether it’s through actually exercising with friends or sharing results on a specific app  — we are motivated to workout even harder when we’re sharing our workout results.

Ready to further commit to your fitness? Scroll down for 5 ways to amp kick up your workout motivation by sharing with your friends.

USE A FITNESS TRACKING APPLICATION

One of the best ways to compare results with your friends is to link up with a fitness tracking application, such as a Fitbit or Apple Watch. If you and your friends on the same device, it’s easy to hop online and compare steps or calories burned in your latest workouts. If you don’t wear a fitness tracker, you can still track your progress and stack it up against your pals. Download a mobile application like MyFitnessPal. You can set goals, as well as log your nutrition and workouts and send the information around to your friends.

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JOIN A WORKOUT CLUB

If you’re looking for some accountability, try joining a fitness group. These will usually revolve around a specific activity, such as running or cycling. Join the club with friends or make friends when you get there. Either way, you’ll have a reason to keep showing up. Plus, they’ll be stoked when you have results to share since they saw your hard work from the very start.

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TRY A WALKING DATE 

If you’re not interested in joining a workout group, try making your workouts social in other ways. Instead of grabbing a meal or drink with a pal, go for a walk or try a new fitness class. You’re more likely to cancel a workout when there’s no one else relying on you to show. Plus, you’ll be more excited in the first place.

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MAKE A SOCIAL PROFILE FOR YOUR PROGRESS

It feels good to share your accomplishments, so make a profile on Instagram or Snapchat where that’s all you have to do: share! Create a page where you can show yourself off each time you find a new healthy meal or fun cardio circuit. Encourage your friends to do the same so you can follow each other and swap tips.

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START A COMPETITION

Once you’ve found a way to compare results with friends, make it a competition and offer a reward.Maybe whoever walks the most steps this week will get a free lunch. An incentive will encourage everyone to push a little harder and stay on their A-game.

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Do you have any favorite tips you use to get you motivated to workout more? Let us know below!